Bean Drip dialogues: Karina and Clay

At Bean Drip café, Karina and Clay sat side-by-side at the long, cherry-wood bar. They fondled the tiny handles of their empty espresso cups. When one spoke the other looked at their moving lips, then at the bar, then at the wall opposite.

“So I’m constantly re-weighing everything on giant imaginary scales. My intention was only ever to achieve complete and utter homeostasis. Instead it appears that my need to balance has itself become unbalanced. I feel like I’m slipping down a completely level plane. And I just can’t rid myself of this obsession for equilibrium. Help, Clay. Tell me how to fix it!”

“Your obsession is weird, man. Especially the fact that it seems to have looped around and eaten its own tail, so to speak. Maybe you need a little shock therapy. Ha ha.”

“Not funny. I’m being serious. I feel like there’s a sickness invading my brain. I wish I could go all the way to the end of something, Clay. Be off-kilter, fall into the abyss. Does it sound insane that I think it’d be good for me to act wild and spontaneous…to hurt myself unintentionally?”

“Um. Here’s the thing. First, you can’t plan to ‘act spontaneous’ or ‘hurt yourself unintentionally’. Then it’s not spontaneous or unintentional. Second: people are always going all the way to the ends of things, falling off, hurting themselves. It’s not good for them. It wouldn’t be good for you.”

“Maybe it would be! Maybe you can’t see how because in that respect, you’re just like everybody else.”

“I thought that’s why you were soliciting my advice to begin with. Jesus, Karina, then what do you want from me?”

~ by kingzoko on June 7, 2011.

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