Exercises in style (27): Scientific jargon

The experiment involves a Homo sapiens sapiens of the XY chromosomal type, labeled Specimen A (hereafter A). At 18:00 hours on 01-01-1946 A is located at 47.32°N, 95.97°W, facing northeast at a dormer containing a mullioned window whose casements are further subdivided by lead cames, in the topmost apartment of a Gothic Revival style bay-and-gable 17-bedroom domicile whose construction terminated 31-12-1888. Photosensitive ganglion cells in the retinas of A’s mammalian eyes receive photons from the perigean full moon which lies 52.11° above the horizon. Although low probabilities of such occurrences have been noted for H. s. sapiens of the XY type during the mid-twentieth century period in Western history, we observe A’s copious lachrymation. This composition of water, salts, antibodies, and lysozymes is excreted from the caruncula and drops a total of 6’1” to Quercus robur floor planking.

Our experiment correspondingly includes a second H. s. sapiens, of the XX chromosomal type, labeled Specimen B (hereafter B). B is located at a latitude and longitude identical to that of A, yet stands one floor directly beneath. As is statistically 83.33% more probable for the time period and sociohistorical context for H. s. sapiens of the XX type, we observe B’s equally copious lachrymation. Indeed, A receives and processes, via his external auditory canal, tympanic membrane, cochlea, and further ear anatomy, the vibrations from B’s lachrymation over his own. Since we were unable to fit A’s cranium with EEG, we cannot record spontaneous hemispheric electrical activity at this time, and can only make logical deductions from related data regarding A’s psycho-emotional state. This limitation will be discussed further in the paper’s Conclusion.

Precisely 10,800,000 milliseconds pass. Telescopic measurements of the lunar orbit indicate anomalous movement; the moon appears to have accomplished 0.5 of its monthly cycle within 5.57 hours, and is waxing gibbous 55.4%. Since it is accepted sine qua non that the laws of nature produce a spacetime that bends due to differences in gravity and velocity, we use special relativity’s formula for determining time dilation,  261474772db3c1ed51e1f89ebcf1d483 to calculate the discrepancy. A remains stationed at the dormer. He has locomoted 22.6cm from his original position. His lachrymation is no longer statistically significant.

We pass on to observations of the rainforest, as one within the intertropical convergence zone, that was not 107 milliseconds previously but is presently in existence within the confines of the room in which our study proceeds. Canopy is not visible; only the understory and forest floor are available for data collection. An initial survey of the ecosystem’s flora via quadrat shows that Bromelioideae, Orchidaceae, Lasiobema, and Ficus barbata are among the present vegetation. A fauna survey comprises the following: Bradypodion fischeri; Boa constrictor nebulosa; Vanga curvirostris; Saguinus imperator; Morpho peleides. We record the autoagitaton of Strelitzia, with its inflorescence at 62.9cm from the nares of A, where its odors provoke a new nasal cycle in the latter; partial congestion and decongestion of the nasal cavities proceeds as expected. Not anticipated is a causal chain whereby this cycle activates a strong emotional LTM, originally encoded by the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. Although we still lack such specifics as only EEG could provide, we deduce the LTM activation based on measured observation of eyegaze and deep oral exhalation.

As our study nears termination, A remains upright at the dormer, having locomoted only 8cm from his last position. The moon, consistent in its anomalously rapid orbital trajectory, is now perigean new. Lobaria pulmonaria (a symbiosis of fungal, algal, and cyanobacterial species) has become omnipresent, covering the Quercus robur planking, all furnishings, and 74.2% of three walls. B’s oral and lachrymatious vibrations can no longer be perceived by A’s ear anatomy. Nevertheless, we speculate that much emotion-rich content concerning B still lies within A’s LTM; however, peripherally-linked data indicate that memory retrieval is no longer possible, for reasons unknown to us. We hypothesize that, among other psycho-emotional and environmental factors, the Ebbinghaus Forgetting Curve is at work.

~ by kingzoko on March 31, 2016.

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